Violence often occurs during or after a conflict. This is why handling conflict nonviolently is an important skill for building peace. To better navigate conflict, we need to better understand conflict and our responses to it. First of all, we can learn how to de-escalate conflicts (see for example this page) and there are also more far-reaching nonviolent alternatives to conflict management. Since much violence has already occurred, it is also important to know how to heal from violence, so that it does not happen again. In the image below with ‘preventing violence’ you see different approaches within the first triangle.

Preventing conflicts

The most sustainable way to prevent conflicts is a structural approach. In response to structural, institutional violence, we must institutionalize nonviolence. In other words, create institutions that support nonviolence and that replace current violent structures. An example is replacing the current system based on ‘retributive justice’ with ‘restorative justice’ (RJ).

In the presence of conflicts, we can use different strategies. These are explained below and are also shown in the figure.

Conflict transformation

Conflict transformation is an effort aimed at changing/transforming the conflict, by transforming the relationship between the parties and their perception and feelings about the conflict (thereby transcending or going ‘beyond’ the conflict). Conflict transformation is a process-oriented approach.

A classic example of a conflict, which can be paralleled to other more serious conflicts, is this scenario: two sisters both want an orange, but they only have one. How can they solve this?

The classic example encourages people to look at the interests of the sisters: One might want to make orange juice and the other might want to use the peel for a pie. When the different interests are clear they can both have what they want, which is a win-win solution. This is an example of conflict resolution. To transform the conflict, they could plant the orange seeds so that they can have an orange tree in the future. This is a long-term solution that may change their relationship. Sometimes one has to go a bit deeper and uncover the needs. For example, for one sister, eating the orange may be a way to get rid of a cold and become healthy, while for the other, she wants to eat the orange because she misses her grandmother who always offered her oranges. Transforming the conflict would mean to find ways to meet their needs in other ways: One sister can drink lemon juice with honey or vitamin C tablets for her cold, and the other sister can look at a photo of her grandmother or share stories about her. The orange is then forgotten and the conflict transformed.

Conflict resolution

Conflict resolution focuses on finding a solution to a particular conflict or problem and is more task or goal-oriented. It is about solving the problem and less about the relationship between conflicting parties. As mentioned above, the sisters can share the orange in a way that meet both their needs. They can be more creative too, for example by trading one orange for two bananas with Paul and then trade those two bananas for two oranges with Lisa, who prefers bananas. This way they can both have an orange and that is seen as the goal and therefore the solution to the conflict. This solution can also be characterized as a win-win solution.

Conflict management

Conflict management or ‘management’ is a more sceptical approach to conflict, where the focus is not on resolving or transforming a conflict, but on controlling it or ensuring that it does not cause too much damage. The sisters could make a compromise: cut the orange in half.

But many conflicts are not as simple as two people wanting an orange, and the parties involved are not always able to solve a problem together. When people do not have the capacity to find win-win solutions, it is indeed important to limit the damage. For example, when someone is being harassed, one can intervene to prevent physical violence or further verbal abuse. To do this, a person can use a series of ‘distraction tactics’ that allow them to remove the victim from the situation, or to direct the person who is intimidating or harassing the other person away from the victim. For example, you can ask the person for directions to a certain place, or pretend you know the victim and take her or him by the arm in a gesture of enthusiasm. Several civilian peace teams teach their employees and volunteers a range of capabilities, such as the five intervention tactics of the US Meta Peace Team. (See also this page, under peace in practice).

Mediation

There are different forms and applications of mediation. It can be applied by people with a legal background for example and used as a way to reach an agreement. This prevents people from having to go to court, waiting a long time for a solution and having to accept the solution, i.e. the legal decision. In the mediation process, facilitated by a trained mediator, people come up with their own solution. This is not legally binding, but a mutually agreed solution. There are several community centers and community organizations that organize training for mediators who work with local communities. And there are also several higher education institutions that offer certificates in mediation. There are actually so many mediation institutions and organizations that we recommend that you look them up on the internet and see what is available in your area.
A separate form of mediation is worth mentioning: a form of mediation usually practised in schools, where students of the same age group are trained and supported to help other students, through a safe and structured process to manage conflicts and disagreements. This process is often called ‘peer meditation’ and includes listening, empathizing, facilitating secure communication, confidentiality, and being impartial and fair. Such a program can create a more relaxed, inclusive and positive school environment, promoting alternative responses to conflict, rather than fighting or ignoring conflict. It is a way to enable students to tackle bullying, fighting, gossip, intimidation and exclusion themselves, and can therefore reduce the burden on school administration.

Healing from violence

Unfortunately, not too many people are aware of ways to prevent violence and violence is often seen as a ‘normal’ phenomenon of society. To heal violence, repairing relationships is an important part of the process, as well as one’s ‘internal state’. Reconciliation is a term frequently mentioned in this context. By reconciliation we mean the process in which disagreeing parties resolve their differences and repair their relationship. Forgiveness is also often part of this process of repairing a relationship, but forgiveness can also be one-sided. Forgiveness heals the pain a person is feeling. Truth telling is also an important part of healing from violence because it can help victims express themselves, share how they were affected, and gain recognition for what happened. Rituals can function in the same way, as can art, therapy or writing.

(Note: this text with figure was compiled by Nina Koevoets, based on the knowledge she has acquired in recent years, and not according to a specific existing model).