[original title: Extremist Muslim encampment]

Blindfolded, his arms tied tightly by his two armed captors, UN diplomat Giandomenica Picco was taken to a room where the leader of the kidnappers was waiting for him. It was 1991 and Picco had been sent by the UN Security Council to mediate for the release of hostages, in a secret location in Beirut, Lebanon. Although he had agreed in advance to be picked up in the middle of the night, by masked Islamic fighters, he was still terrified.

When they removed Picco’s blindfold, he saw a strongly built, black-haired Arab man in his late 30s, with a ski mask over his face. Behind the narrow slit of the ski mask, Picco saw nothing but the dark, suspicious eyes of his kidnapper.

“Maybe you know something about me,” Giandomenica Picco said, after a period of silence. “But I don’t know anything about you.”
“What do you want to know?” the masked leader asked.

Picco waited a moment before speaking again. He knew the words he would choose would determine his fate, and not just his own.Imagine for a moment that you are an official envoy. Entirely dependent on the mercy of your captor. You wonder if you will survive the night. You think of the people you love, afraid you will never see them again. What do you say, when words are all you have?

“Do you have children?” asked Picco.
“Yes,” replied the man.
“Me too,” replied Picco. “And are you doing this because you want to give your children a better world?”
“Of course.”
“Well, so do I. So it turns out we are both fathers who want to give a better world to their children.”

The man in the ski mask shifted silently. He leaned toward Picco and looked straight into his face.
“Where on Earth are you from?!” he asked with intense curiosity.

Years later, reflecting on this conversation of life and death, Picco told me that this first conversation “blew the man with the ski mask off his chair.” Picco had chosen the right words at the right time, to build a relationship with his opponent. They had bonded with each other.

With exquisite skill, this UN envoy began to create a shared context. Beyond all their differences and conflicting political beliefs, Picco and the kidnapper had discovered at least one common identity: they were fathers who love their children. Even while it would be easier for both the “terrorist” and the “diplomat” to remain “walled in” to their one dimensional identities, they both stepped out of this narrow cage and found a place to stand side by side. Their conversation required courage from both men and eventually led to the release of both hostages.

“Why did you start the conversation this way?” I asked Picco during one of our conversations.
“Each of us has multiple identities,” he explained. “Each of us is more than one thing. I knew that was true for myself, and for the man in the ski mask. I knew that finding an identity we had in common would build a bridge.”

“Please say more about bridge-building. What exactly does it entail?” I asked.
“When they brought me to their hideout, it was clear they thought I was from another planet. I knew I had to overcome that idea or nothing would come of it. Finding out that we are both fathers who care about their children was the first step. It changed the dynamic between us. I believe this first exchange opened the door to successful negotiations.”

By Mark Gerzon, published in American Citizens, Global Citizens (2010), Spirit Scope.

Picco led hostage negotiations including:

1989-1992: Release of 11 hostages during the Lebanon hostage crisis including Anglican pastor Terry Waite, AP bureau chief Terry A. Anderson, Edward Austin Tracy, and John McCarthy (journalist) of the Shi’ite militia Revolutionary Justice Organization.

1999: Release of 13 Jews who had been arrested in Shiraz, Iran, and charged with espionage. At the request of American Jewish leaders, Picco interceded with Iranian President Khatami and succeeded in obtaining the release of all the prisoners.

(Among the hostages Picco was unable to rescue were U.S. soldiers William Francis Buckley and William R. Higgins.)

In 1992, Picco left the UN. In 1994, he formed the international business negotiation consulting firm GDP Associates, based in New York City. He also became president of the Peace Strategies Project, based in Geneva, Switzerland, and of US Equity Partners Holdings, LLC.

(See this page on Wikipedia.)